I’ve been in workshops all this week and was looking forward to two new series: The Protector (Lifetime) and The Nine Lives of Chloe King (ABC family). Okay, so I’m an eternal optimist about television. But hey, I thought, a story about a Protector who is a woman and a sci-fi series about a gal with superpowers. How bad can those be?
Those of you who have already watched these pilots are probably snickering. They were TERRIBLE. Maybe I was a little cranky and tired, but The Protector was just terribly written and conceptualized. The writers really should be forced to read Tamora Pierce’s wonderful protector of the small series — the police procedural could learn a lot from young adult fiction with decent female characters. It was formulaic, draggy, and I’m getting tired of the racism of the sassy black sidekick. Just have a black protagonist for god’s sake (oh, wait — those get cancelled, on network and cable).
As for Chloe, think Heroes‘ Claire Bennett, but a million times less interesting and gutsy (seriously). If there was a drinking game based on how many times she shakes her hair extensions, I probably wouldn’t have lasted beyond the first three minutes. And oy — the squealing — over boys, hair, shopping, blowing off her adopted mom, etc.
C’mon, writers and networks. Can’t you do better than this? Rhetorical question — there was Buffy, Canada’s Showcase has Lost Girl, with one of the most fabulous female characters around (Kenzi), BBC has Amy Pond. So get with it, will you?